Plastic Bags : The Ban or The Bane?

If I am not mistaken, it was last year in October, that a blanket ban on plastic bags was imposed in India. Of course, there is a certain micron rating for the ban and those falling below the same are banned.

Of course, from what we observe, what can be deduced is that all bags in Retail Stores are definitely above the 40 Micron rating hence they are still in circulation. However, the ban has helped Retailers in two ways. One is that since the customer has a choice of whether to take a bag or not, the consumption of bags on the whole might have gone down however I am not sure if this has actually happened. However, the second and more important way in which it has helped Retailers is by ensuring that they charge for the plastic bags and hence are able to recover the cost at least, in case they aren't making a cool profit as well.

Of course, we will need to review the data on this, however from everyday observation, Plastic Bags at Retail shops have definitely not gone out of circulation. Moreover they have become a good source of revenue for them. So much so that the person at the billing counter wants you to take a bag so that he can promptly add another Rs 5 to the bill.

So what has this ban done for the environment in terms of reducing circulation of Plastic Bags? Zilsch. What has it done for Consumer awareness in terms of not using a plastic bag? Zilsch since Rs 5 is too small an amount and most consumers are willing to pay this. For the retailer? Well not only has it subsidised one of their activities which wasn't adding revenue, it probably is also Contributing to the bottom line as well since the cost of the plastic bag would surely be less than Rs. 5.

So is this a Ban or a Bane ?

The "Fictional" Boyfriend

I thought the title of this post would be The Perfect Boyfriend, but I am sure that all my female friends would vouch for the fact that such a creature (A Perfect Boyfriend) only exists in fiction and hence this title is apt.

So what are the traits of a perfect boyfriend? Does he meekly surrender to every legitimate request or illegitimate demand of his partner? Is he the quintessential Adonis with an 8 pack or the cliched tall, dark and handsome charmer? Is he chivalrous like Sir Walter Raleigh laying down his coat for Queen Elizabeth 1? Or is he like Roy Raymond, who would go as far as setting up a chain of lingerie stores just because he was embarrassed in buying lingerie at a department store? Let' see....

1. The Perfect Listener

For starters, he needs to have great listening skills. These days most guys boosted with talks from self help gurus and their books, feel obliged to roll their sleeves up and solve their girl's problems when all the girl might want them to do is listen. Kindly note, not hear what she has to say, but listen. Why he needs to be the perfect listener is covered in the next couple of points but the starting point would be to sharpen his listening skills.

2. The Perfect Memory

Coming to memory, he needs to have one of an elephant. Because that's what he is up against. Taking up from the previous point, if he has been a good listener, then of course, he needs to remember all that she had to tell him. Invariably his girl would start saying, "Honey, you remember that day when we went to that place..... " and so on an so forth. Mate, if you don't remember "that day" then you wont remember "that place" and then you've had it. So its time to sharpen your memory skills as well.

3. The Perfect Conversationalist

Though this point appears to be in exact contradiction of the first point, being a conversationalist, is no less important than being a good listener. Why? Well, a point will come where your girl will stop talking and would then like to know what you have to say about what she was talking about or she might just ask you about something in general. If its the former, and you have nothing to say, then she will be forced to think that you weren't listening. And if its the latter, then you might be accused of either being boring or that you are bored of her and hence have nothing to say. Either way, you're screwed. It doesn't matter if you are a Experimental Physicist who is dating a waitress / struggling actress (Couldn't help the Big Bang Theory reference), you should like and be able to talk football and of course guzzle down pints of beer if that's what she likes.

4. The Perfect Shopper

Please note that this doesn't mean that he is needs to shower her with gifts all the time. Though I am sure that if he does, she won't mind. More often than not, while walking around in malls, you will find guys just trudging along behind their wives / girlfriends looking absolutely disinterested in the entire activity and just searching for the first opportunity to sit down and just relax. Shopping is one one activity where most men differ from women. And you will notice this fact in most large apparel stores. Come rain or sunshine, the women's trial rooms will always be packed with a line of ladies waiting for their turn. However, the men's section more often than not will always have at least one trial room vacant. Why is that? Or in case you have noticed, at any time of the day, clothes which have been taken out of the rack or simply unfolded are just dumped around in the women's section, whereas in the men's section, they are immediately folded neatly and kept back in their place by the staff on duty. Why is that? Though I am digressing a bit, it is important to understand the inherent psyche of men and women when it comes to shopping to understand what it takes to be the perfect shopper. Women might want to buy a pair of denim, however after trying on at least 17 of them, suddenly decide that they'd much rather get themselves a pair of red pumps than anything else. Whereas, if a guy has decided to get himself a pair of denim, he almost always has decided that its going to be Levi's probably and whether its going to be a 517 or a 501 and whether its going to have a zipper or a button fly. Then it just comes down to trying it at the store and selecting it. This explains the rush in the women's trial rooms and the absence of it in the men's trial rooms. And the condition of clothes in the respective sections as well. However, the perfect shopper is the man who not only understands that his girl might need to try on 17 pairs of denim but he should himself suggest the 18th, 19th and 20th pairs that she could try on. Or if its pumps, then along with he red, maybe yellow and purple also deserve a try. And its not gay if you do that or have an opinion on what looks good and what would match with what. In fact, she will be thrilled that you actually have an opinion and are taking active interest in shopping for her.

5. The Perfect Friend

Well, yes you are her boy friend, but are you her best friend as well? She might say that she trusts you more than anyone else, but does she confide in you those things which don't concern you or those that happened in her life before you came along? Even sticky issues like past relationships etc. You have to play a dual role, one of her boy friend but more importantly that of a friend. A friend who doesn't judge, one who doesn't criticise, one who encourages her and one who can keep his two roles separate from each other. I am sure that most would agree that being a friend along with being a boy friend is easy, however the key to being the perfect friend is playing this dichotomous role in perfect harmony.

6. The Perfect Company

In a way, this is a combination of all that has been written above. If you are perfect on all counts, then you are surely her perfect companion and a perfect soul mate as well.

Of course, there are many other things other than those mentioned above that contribute to making you perfect, however I have mentioned those that I feel are the most important. And I am sure that those who feel any of these qualities / traits count, will try an improve on these :)

The Nativity Play - Through the Years!

It was Christmas' Eve and I was decorating both our Christmas Trees.. why do we have two? One is real and the other one is fake .. lol.. Anyway, and I was talking to Mom and we suddenly realised something very strange. That I had played 4 different roles in various Nativity Plays which have been staged over the year in School and finally in B School as well.

1983

The year I was born. Of course, the only role for me was to play Baby Jesus, and this wasnt by choice.

1987

This year I played a shepherd boy.. complete with make up, rouge, toga etc. I dont remember anything from then though. Its only the photographs which bear testament to the fact that I was in the play that year. Thank God that Dad is so passionate about Photography else I would have never been able to recall most things if he hadnt captured them in the lenses forever.

1993

Much needed respite from Choir Practice :) Yes this time I am playing One of the Kings.. Yes there are 3 Kings and they are from the orient. And yes they are carrying Frankincense, Gold and Myrrh but please dont ask me which one I was :). Just remember that my folks had wrapped a small box used to store visiting cards with Carbury's foil to give it an authentic look of a gift from yesteryears. And I remember getting dressed in the Music Room, with all the beads, Crown, and the satin clothes etc. This is the first play that I remember slightly. I was held in the basketball court just behind the Standard 1 Block.

1999

And of course, the Grand Finale in School when we were in the 11th Std... Playing the Role of Joseph. They say that life comes a full circle. Well for me it had in just the first 16 years of my life. From playing Baby Jesus to now handling a small Baby Jesus. I definitely remember this one nice and clear. Phew... the long practice hours with the choir. And a darling of a Mother Mary.. Nazia.. :) Wow.. trip down memory lane.. I guess I need to scan the pics and upload them as well.

2006

A long break.. What happened in Between... well 3 years of college.. 2 years of work what else? This time I move on the the last and final level in all the roles played in the Nativity Play. I was still at School.. only difference was that there was a B before the School :) This time I get the role of Director & Scriptwriter. Scriptwriter?? Isnt the Nativity Play already written?? Well, someone's got to adapt it for our use right.. Isnt that activity part of writing the script? So anyway.. this was fun.. Getting all the actors together.. telling people when to enter and where to enter from. Deciding when the hymns come etc. For the first time, I wrealised what my Teachers underwent while dealing with us during the Nativity plays which they would patiently direct year after year in school.. Tough Job and Kudos to them.

Of course, I wasnt sitting idle all the other years that I wasnt directly involved in the play. I was part of the choir and put my heart and soul into singing and breathing life into the play.

Is it the Physicality or the Mentality?

What is it that attracts a guy to a girl? Is it beauty or brains? Beauty many say or as we heard in the beauty pageants which all the Indian girls would win in the 90's is "skin deep". But honestly, if you were dating Aishwarya Rai would you be bothered that you can't carry on a conversation with her because she is so dumb? Well, I guess not!

So that brings me to the title of this post. I am not sure, but I feel that the male populace will be divided on this one. Personally, while it would be great to hangout with a good looking girl, if I cant carry on a meaningful conversation with her, then she will merely turn into a trophy chick whom you flaunt as arm candy. That's it! I don't know if beauty is skin deep or not, but I sure do know that its ephemeral. Twenty years down the line, the "Aphrodite" you married is not going to look the same. Does that mean, you are going to love her any less? Of course not, however that's only when the mental connect is strong between both. I guess that's what they call Chemistry.

There are two types of girls whom guys encounter. The first type are the girls with whom there is no emotional attachment and who serve as arm candy or are an entry ticket into a disco as the case may be. I am sure everyone has encountered such girls. I am afraid, I might be stereotyping, however more often than not, this is the case. When is it not? Of course when there's a balance between the physical and mental attraction. They are the second type. The ones with whom you go for coffee, lunch or a movie. It's these girls whom you end up taking to meet your mom as well :-)

Its but natural to get attracted to a good looking girl, but then if she also turns out to be as intelligent as she is beautiful then that's the icing on the cake. In a utopian world, that could be the definition of balance, "Beauty with Brains".

So whether's its the physicality or the mentality or a combination of both, I guess you got to go with what works best for you.

2010: The Year of Travel

When I talk about 2010 35 years from now, I will have many things to say, however as of now what I would like to write about is the Travel :)

January

Well I started the New Year in Kolkata. Attended Riddhi & Penny's Engagement and then head to Paul & Jonita's wedding in Mumbai. Though the Mumbai trip was dry thanks to the headbanging affair at Penny's house with a certain Old Monk :)

Back in Chennai after a week of settling down at work, I head to Bangalore to be part of Shelton's Birthday Bash.

February

With Mom in town, we both head to Velankanni to fulfill a few promises we had made. Still cant forget the awesome Prawns there :)

March

In March, the beaches of Goa were home to me and even though Goa was supposed to be dry due to the Panchayat Elections we managed to get some of our favourite poisons.. As the Taxi Driver said, " Sahab .. Goa aur Dry Day.. Aisa Kabhi ho Sakta hai?" which translated means.. "Sir, Goa and a Dry Day? Can that ever Happen?"

April

This is the most important month in this post, because this is the only month in 2010 when I didnt travel anywhere.. unless we count the post midnight bike escapade to Mahabs... :)

May

First day of May and we are in New Delhi. Rohan & Prianka and the entire gang at the Zoo Bar in the Garden of Five Senses.. Was just awesome. Spent some quality time with Dad. And of course.. I got to meet Lucie after 2 years.. along with Arthur... What a feeling!! Amazing trip.

Still on May and we travel to Kolkata.. this time for Riddhi & Penny's Wedding... Of course the Rain Gods were showering their blessings aplenty.. The wedding, Bou Bhath and everything else went off smooth. This was also the saddest month of the year for me.. but more about that in another post.

June

Surprisingly we were having the most amazing weather in Chennai at this time... The Summers had lasted just 15 days and it was always raining and pleasant.. However, since I had bunked the IPL Final in Mumbai a month ago, this time Alok, Rakhee n co. ensure that I was there for Uncle's farewell and the last lap at the MD's bungalow at RCF. Heaven on Earth Man... I had no idea there were such open expanses of land in Mumbai which were untouched and which you can be rest assured would never become concrete jungles.

July

Already July... And guess who is in town.. Ma Chere Lucie along with Arthur.. But of course.. we all head to Pondicherry over the weekend.. What fun man.. after ages I was hearing that laughter of hers.. Carefree as ever... And as they say... there's no better way to explore Pondicherry than with the French.. :)

August

Come August and there are two trips that happen.. and guess where to? Pondy again :) Well the trip with Ste, Marta, Simone and Luca was just unforgettable. Wish we could have done it once before they left. Hopefully once again in the future... Insha Allah as they say :)

September

While writing this post, September almost joined April in the sense that I almost missed out the fact that I had travelled in September... Where to?? Velankanni ! Wow two trips to Velankanni in the year! Now thats a first. But yes the Prawns were not missed :)

October

Come October and I am back home for Durga Pujaaaa!!! After 9 long months I got to visit my favourite place in the entire world. The familiar crowds.. the Dhakis.. playing their music.. the entire festive spirit.. I was just soaking it all in :)

November

November... well this was meant to be a month when I travelled so it all happened one fine night at the Race Club... where the monks, both old and new were having a session and the idea took shape. Outlook invites were sent immediately to show the seriousness to make it happen this time... And tickets booked.. we are off to Masingudi :) Well though we couldnt spot any Tigers in the Mudumalai Tiger Reserve.. it was one helluva trip and definitely a trip I will never forget and one I would look forward to do again in the future.

Of course.. the third weekend of November also provided for some holiday cheer.. Where to? Pondicherry.. but just a day trip.. Off in the morning and back in the evening..

And I almost forgot about one of the most rocking trips of the year... so much so that I had to edit the entry to write about it.. The Diwali trip to Bangalore.. The much famed Vietnamese Pork Burger more than lived upto its reputation... And of course.. the monk was in full action along with his other partners The Bird, The Green Fairy and others. It literally was a cracking weekend and that without even bursting one cracker.. :)

December

I am actually quite scare to count the number of days I was on leave and the number of days I worked in December.. It might be that the former are more in number.. :) Starts with a whirlwind trip of Jamshedpur on the first weekend.. then the Next weekend to Bangkok.. It was maiden voyage and the most thrilling moment of course was when my passport was stamped for the first time... The Fb pics speak for themselves I guess. And the the last but not least.. the Christmas and NYE trip back in Jamshedpur. You can go everywhere for a holiday but when it comes to Christmas you just have to be home with your family and friends. Cant be anywhere else.. As they say.. Home is where the Heart is ! Oh and I just remembered... Need to mention the day spent in Cal as well.. Little work and a little fun.. thats how I could describe the day !!

Well this year sure was eventful. Lots of ups and downs.. more ups I would say. But it was by far the best year of my life in terms of everything.. And I look forward to 2011 to take my breath away with an even better year by breaking all the tall benchmarks which have been set by 2010!

Here's to the New Year!

The Hook : You’re either “On” it or “Off” it

How many times have you heard this from a girl? “I like you; you’re a great guy, but I am not ready for a relationship right now.” Of course, the “We’ll always be great friends” will also be thrown in.

What exactly does “not right now” mean? I first heard something on these lines around 12 years back and I still fail to understand any of it. Does it mean, “Not right now”, but “sometime in the future”? Or does it mean that “dude, you just have to try harder, I am not giving in so easily!” Well, volumes can be written on this, but this post is not about what that phrase means, but about “THE HOOK”.

Yes, either you’re “Off the Hook” or you’re “On it”. And it works both ways; I might be on someone’s hook while I might be keeping someone else on the hook. But it all starts with those 3 words “not right now.” I guess it stems from the fact, that the other person is a good friend and you probably enjoy spending time with them and wouldn’t want to lose them. However what we fail to consider is that slowly and steadily, they start weaving their own little dream world; thanks to the “not right now” hook. Probably you are selfish and don’t want to lose the friendship and rapport you share with the person so you just keep putting it off rather than facing it. A point to note though is that the longer you keep on with it, that dream world will become more real for the person on the hook and when you burst that bubble, its going to be very painful for them, and will in all probability result in the end of all relations between the both of you; no one takes rejection well J. But I guess that’s the solution – Out of sight = Out of mind!

In my opinion there are two ways of doing it. One is say some nasty stuff, make the girl cry… Yeah I hate that, but just can’t help it and ensure that she starts hating you to the point that she doesn’t want to be with you anymore. The other is to have a calm and cool talk with her and explain that things will never work out. Yes, she might cry in this case as well, but there is a slight chance that you may not lose her friendship at least. Which solution one goes for totally depends on the kind of person they are and what they are comfortable with? I would always go with solution one for one simple reason. The pain is substantial, but it only lasts at that point of time, post which most would come to terms with the situation and move on hating me. I can live with that and comfort myself that they underwent short term pain for some long term gain. As for solution two, if you are once again at your diplomatic best, you might just end up placing the person on the hook one more time, just so that you don’t hurt them. I am not denying the fact that there might be several other ways, but these are the two that I know of. And trust me, solution two has been used on me quite extensively however I would just end up being hopeful and waiting for something to happen.. J

Also, a few more phrases which I have come across other than “not right now”. The other phrases which I have heard are “my parents wont approve of this right now”, “I need to focus on my studies right now” – The first two were of course school favourites, “I don’t think I am ready for a relationship right now”, “I’ve never seen you THAT way” , “Being in a relationship increases the expectations and just ruins everything – what we have is so perfect” and the current favourite, “I am really focused on my career right now” and so on and so forth.

Designationsss!!!

A Designation... When you dont have one, then you want it.. and When you have one, then you may not want the responsibility that comes along with it. Nevertheless, it feels good to have a nice fancy designation. Doesnt it? Whether you deserve it or not is secondary.

However, one would have to agree that in the recent past with the advent of the new age "Knowledge-based" organisations, organisational hierarchy as we knew it 20 years back in the traditional manufacturing industries has gone out of the window. Today I can be an Assistant Vice President at the age of 23 and a Vice President at probably 26. If something like this were to happen back in the old days, even the thought of it would have been blasphemous.

However, with the advent of the "MBAs"; the guys who think they know it all even before they start working, throwing fancy designations has become to norm with all companies looking to attract the best talent from business schools.

In the previous generation of Baby Boomers if you got promoted once in 3 or 4 years, you were considered to be a fast tracker and had a bright career ahead if you stayed with the company. These individuals would actually be excited that they got promoted. Today with Gen Y, if they dont get promoted one year, then suddenly, the company is not all that good as it was when they joined or growth prospects are limited or they they look at joining competition at a higher designation. Promotions are like salary increments these days. People expect them at least once a year. And hence, organisations have devised their own ways and means of keeping Gen Y happy year after year. No wonder, designations today have a number of prefixes like, "Additional, Assistant, Deputy, Senior, Executive, Associate, Joint" which have ensured that a normally flat organisational structure has been turned into something else altogether with 500 AVPs, 1000 Deputy Managers, 30 Joint Directors etc etc.

If you looked at it this way, would you be 1 among thousands or 1 among 3 or 4... To elucidate further, this is the very difference between someone who is the Vice President "IN" a company and someone who is the Vice President "OF" a company. In the former, you probably will be swimming in the sea with thousands others as is the case with some of the multinatonal banks which started the fancy designation throwing back in the early 1990s. However in the latter, you are probably one among 3 or 4 people in the company and your actions have a huge impact on the fortunes of the company as is the case with large manufacturing firms.

So why is that people stuck to companies even when they werent getting promoted every year? Well, this can be answered in many ways. One, they were loyal to the company. Today loyalty is probably a function of the money one draws from their jobs. Two could be that there lack of options. The economy was still protected and there probably was no other place to go so they stayed put. As we know, today opportunities are limitless and the world is your playground. Three, they were probably looking at security whereas today, most are just looking at more money rather than anything else..

Good things always come to patient people. Please note, its patient and not lazy or lackadaisical. However in our Gen Y, people like this are few and far between as everyone is benchmarking themselves with the most successful person they know in their age group and wants to surpass them. Yes, some guys get what they want and yes they get it when they want and yes you feel they dont deserve to be where they are. But thats life and at some point you have to accept it. But having a fancy MBA tag from a top B-school only gives you a head start in your career and doesnt guarantee success in the long run. Those who win in the long run will be those, who have the grit, the determination and the perseverance to overcome all challenges presented to them and emerge victorious.

Ever wondered what the longevity of sprinter's career is as compared to that of a marathon runner? The answer is simple. Whereas sprinters peak between 19 - 24 years and have a rather short lived career, marathon runners are at their prime much later when they are in their 30s and they go on running till they are well into their 40s. Though both probably start their careers at the same age and work equally hard, sprinters achieve success much earlier however as they get closer to their mid and late 20s their career is over.

So I will leave you with one question. Would you rather be a sprinter or a marathon runner?